screwy world
Life is very screwed up right now. I haven't the slightest clue as to what I'm going to do, where I'm going to stay. I honestly am questioning my sanity! I feel like every inch of my saneness is being stolen from my parents.
It's ridiculous the lengths they are going to make sure that I'm miserable. I tried to come home from work last night, because whether or not they like it, this is my house too! And it really sucks that when I opened the front door, I was scared what was going to happen. I walked inside my house and the first thing anyone says to me is "get the fuck out of my house." if that didn't hurt enough as it was, it came out of my dad's mouth. The same dad who I've worshipped since I was a little girl and encouraged and fought for and believed in. I stood my ground. I had no where to go! As it was I had to walk halfway home from work, because no one could pick me up. You would think your parents would care about these sorts of things: not mine. He ended up screaming at me and then pushed me into my room and told me that if I was going to come into his house, I was to stay in my room and figure out somewhere else to go.
I tried to listen to him, because what was my option? Except that I fell asleep and at about 2 o'clock in the morning, my mom comes home, drunk as hell, storming into my room and informing me of how I'm "fucking up her life, her relationship with my father" and what a piece of shit that I was.
Trust me, Mom. I know I'm a fuck up. You don't have to drill it into my head.
As far as what I'm going to do, I have no idea! I have $68 to my name. I don't get paid until Monday. With the limited amount of money that I have, I need to go to Walgreens to get some things I need and I need to go to the grocery store because I was informed that I am not allowed to touch "their" food. They are being so ridiculous! Get over yourselves!
It's hard for me to try and stay positive, to try and smile, when I know that at any given time, I may have no money, no bed to sleep in, no home. To make matters worse, my parents still haven't paid a dime of my book rental and the fact of the matter is that I am not going to be able to raise that money myself in time for graduation.
I guess they have succeeded.