Valentine's Day
It's hard to get into a day about love and romance when all preceding Valentines' Days have been awful...
Let's remember... two years ago, I was dating Luis, a guy that I had fallen completely head over heels for in a matter of a month. I came to school on Valentine's Day, happy, thrilled that I finally had someone to spend the day with and to make memories with. I ran to his locker as fast as I could, wanting to beat him to it. I opened his locker and put his gift inside: baked cookies, candy, a teddy bear, etc. When he finally came to his locker that morning, he looked inside and noticed all of this stuff. He didn't say a word to me: not thank you, or go to hell, or anything. So when I went up to him and started to talk to him, he seemed perfectly happy, even though he had yet to acknowledge Valentine's Day. An hour later, he broke up with me. In a letter. Strike one for Cupid
Last year, a Valentine's Day with a guy I loved and he loved me: Jose. I thought I had a great day, and I won't diminish the day by any means just because it was spent with him. I did have a good day. It is a memory that I will always hold. But Cupid didn't exactly shoot his arrow in the right direction on that one either. Rather, he poked me with the wrong arrow and instead of sticking me with Love Potion, he got me with the Potion for Idiots. Because of this, I allowed myself to be used, berated, and mistreated, all in the name of love. Strike two for Cupid.
Valentine's Day was a pretty decent day for me yesterday. It wasn't filled with love or romance or fireworks. But Robert made me smile countless times and what is even better is that I made him smile. I decided that I wanted to spend a little bit more money on him than usually I would, because of the happiness that he has given me in the short time we've known each other. I wanted to have an opportunity to make him smile as much as he makes me, to make him feel special. He bought me a single, beautiful red rose and a box of my favorite (and expensive) chocolates Fannie May Mint Meltaways. He had to work last night though and so we didn't make plans to spend the night together and decided we would rather spend tonight together when we could have more time. He stopped by to visit before he headed for work and we spent a half hour together, being crazy and goofy. I love it. Normally, I'm the crazy one, who is always like "dance with me" or "jump on the bed with me" or something else completely off the wall because I love to just act like a little kid. But yesterday, he took my hand and asked me if I would dance with him. He then asked me if I would go to prom with him.
Later on, my friends Beth and I decided that we were not going to be sitting at home and depressed on Valentine's Day. So after much begging with my parents (even though I'm 18 years old, they treat me like a child), I finally convinced them to let me go out with my girls. So Beth, Allison, and I went out to get something to eat. Then I stopped by Robert's work to surprise him and finally we went to Border's and just had fun dancing around, looking at books, and acting like the goofy people we are. So although Cupid didn't aim an arrow at me this year, he still has one strike to go.
I'm slowly trying to get the old Megan back. She is emerging from everywhere you can possibly imagine. My crazy personality, my outrageous ideas, my laugh... they no longer seem so foreign to me. I cry less and smile more.
I wonder who has held the key that has kept happiness from me for so long...